simply hearsay

christmas shopping

2006-11-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

to my credit, this year i've started my christmas shopping already. when melissa and i were in new york, i picked up a little diddy for my mom. soon after we visited montreal and i was able to start and finish my sister's gifts, and then add something for skippy. it's not even december yet, and i'm over half-way finished buying for my family.

the tricky part comes now that melissa and i have been dating. obviously, i'm inclined to buy her gifts. and that part i've started too. but it becomes complicated when i visit her family for christmas. i'd like to have something (small) for each of them. so the strategy i've adopted is to find little diddys for each of the family members, plus melissa's sister's boyfriend, who lives in the house. however, not knowing their tastes and what others in the family might be purchasing for each other, this task becomes increasingly difficult.

i suppose this is where melissa would come in handy with recommendations, but i'm one who prefers to come up with my own ideas when it comes to gift-giving. luckily, i still have a month of shopping left.

quote(s) of the day

2006-11-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

after speaking to a long-lost friend, i realized just how much influence i have on others. this, from homer, otherwise known as honehr.

homer: you and melissa going out?
mr jeff: that's the rumour
homer: man ur a real gangsta

--------

then, after agreeing to hook homer up with one of melissa's good friends, he shares this incite:

homer: in u, i have mi trust. im sure u will come thru....i finally realized that u r a ladies man and get all sorts of bitches. fuck i love u for that!

xMas Bowl VII

2006-11-03T08:37:00.000-05:00

new york new york

2006-10-24T20:39:00.000-04:00

start spreading the news... melissa and i just got back from new york city, and what a trip it was. i'll share all the great details of the trip after the weekend.

fantasy football

2006-10-13T07:17:00.000-04:00

i have a new addiction and it's fantasy football. you've probably heard of fantasy sport leagues. it's a virtual league in which players, called "owners", each draft a team of real-life NFL players and then score points based on the players' statistical performance in the real-life games. our league pits two competitors against each other in a head-to-head format and ranks the participants by their win-loss record.

this is the first fantasy sports league i've played in of any kind, but i'm quickly getting the hang of it. i'm constantly flipping through the team injury reports to see if i have to drop any of my players due to injury, and hoping the blue chip prospect i picked up plays a big statistical game for me. it's an addictive game of chess played on a virtual sports field. and it makes every football game on sunday interesting, because i have 10 players on various teams to watch out for. plus, i have to see how the players on my oppponents' team are fairing.

it literally puts you as the general manager of a sports team, and now i can see how rewarding and disapointing that job could be. you have to do a lot of research to judge if a running back, for instance, might fair well against a team that has a poor defence. or make adjustments to your quarterback situation because that particular qb might be suffering from injury. i'm constantly tinkering with my lineup.

i play with a bunch of guys i used to play intramural flag football with at carleton. but next year i hope to start up my own league with some of my best friends. oh, and it should be noted, that i've incorporated the rock steady crew as my team name.

for those interested, here is my roster:

rock steady crew
qb - mark bulger, st. louis rams
qb - matt leinart, arizona cardinals
wr - jerricho cotchery, new york jets
wr - reggie brown, philiadelphia eagles
wr - hank baskett, philadelphia eagles
rb - warrick dunn, atlanta falcons
rb - fred taylor, jacksonville jaguars
rb - deangelo williams, carolina panthers
rb - jerious norwood, atlanta falcons
te - jeremy shockey, new york giants
k - jay feely, new york giants
team def - dallas cowboys
lb - scott fujita, new orleans saints
dl - scott kampman, green bay packers
cb - richard marshall, carolina panthers

currently we sit in 12th place out of 16 teams with a record of 2-3.

kinky football

2006-09-24T20:28:00.000-04:00

while watching the musical vignette entrance theme for nbc's sunday night football, featuring musical artist pink, skippy and i share a lesson in pop culture.

skippy: who's that? i think i recognize her.

jeff: that's pink.

skippy: yeah, kink. i know her. do we have her cd?

jeff: check the videos for kink. if you're looking for pink, julie might have her cd.

quote of the day

2006-09-20T18:50:00.000-04:00

angi says:

"the world of bacon is fast moving AND exciting, jeff. they should have a newsletter so we can easily keep abreast of all bacon developments."

- this, in reference to the turkey bacon and chicken bacon phenomena.

not so labour-intensive labour day

2006-09-13T08:10:00.000-04:00

some might think i'm being a tad tardy with a post detailing a recap of my labour day activities. for those who criticize, i will say that i chose to recap my labour day weekend rather than write about my canada day festivities. now that's a little out of season. so on to the story...

my new girlfriend melissa and i had planned a weekend alone together some time now. it is a little difficult to see much of each other due her residing in the newfangled suburbia that is orleans, and me shacking up in the dreadful town of cornwall. however, with the long weekend upon us, we made a point of taking advantage of it. [on a side note: can anyone explain the relevance of labour day? are we celebrating a break from labour?]

friday was spent in pajamas. after a shopping spree of m&m's meats, and fine pastries from the dutch store on merivale, we spent the rest of the evening relaxed in our comfies on the couch, watching movies. considering the work load we had put in that week at our respective jobs, it seemed to be the most fitting way to celebrate the end of the work week.

saturday morning came quickly and we were up for adventure. still in our comfies, we picked up a copy of xpress and headed to bridgehead. we made friendly with the quasi-gay cashier who hooked us up with more than the requried stamps for our bridgehead coffee card. free comes early when you're friendly - and when the gay cashier is infatuated with my newly purchased h&m jacket i was wearing. melissa claims he was hitting on me, and let me tell you what i think about that .... i'm fine with it. i'll do what i have to do for free brew.

after coffee we hit up the brown loaf bakery on elgin st. for some freshly made breakfast breaderies and pastries. i decided another coffee was in order so we scooted back to bridgehead, winked at sir sexy pinky, and off we went.

breakfast of scrambled egg-omelettes and chicken bacon (which, as it turns out, is cheaper than turkey bacon!) was followed by a quick shower. we were on the road to glory by 10:30am.

and where does glory lead to, you ask? the hershey chocolate factory in smiths falls, of course! though the production facility was inoperative that day (they only make chocolate on a 9-5 sked), we took a quick tour of the joint anyway. not as exciting as you might think - the tour - the real highlight is the gift shop! at the pull of a lever, an outpour of chocolate streams through the funnels of chocohappiness and into a plastic bag. all for an incredibly low price. melissa and i came away with 5 bags full of chocolate, totalling a mere $45. we thought we might have gone a bit overboard but the cashier assured us that earlier that week a family of 3 had spent an incredible $289 on chocolate. rumour has it the average weight of a typical canadian family doubled that day.

next stop was the lift locks of smiths falls. we spent a significant amount of time walking along the rideau river (yes, in smiths falls) and along the locks. to our luck, a boat appeared ready to be lowered through the lift lock (or sink lock) just as we walked up. let it be known that the locks at smiths falls are the biggest of any on the rideau river at a breathtaking 26 feet. it's quite the spectacle to see an engineering feat as this live.

with no schedule in mind, melissa and i decided to check out the quante town of merrickville on a recommendation from skippy. merrickville has recently been dubbed "canada's most beautiful village", and though i have little to compare it to, i would not argue with it's title. the town is a unique victorian-style village with plenty of "delightful restaurants and shops" [quoting the website here]. we were surprised to find one particular 2-storey shop dedicated entirely to christmas. in fact, this store operates year-round with only christmas merchandise. it was a tad overwhelming for melissa and i, but the tourists seemed to enjoy it. it was incredibly busy in there.

we took the scenic route back to ottawa, through manotick and awed over some of the luxurious houses there. we rented coffee & cigarettes from blockbuster and got 3/4 through the movie before nodding off around midnight.

on monday melissa came down to cornwall to visit the folks. we've been dating for little over a month now, so it seemed to be an appropriate time for her to meet skippy and mom. skippy didn't dissapoint either, goofing around and only living up to the expected crazyness that is his reputation. after dinner, we headed back to ottawa for a nightcap.

save me jesus

2006-09-11T18:57:00.000-04:00

i came across a website today that was selling bandages. this website offered three types of bandages: funky coloured ones, scooby doo aids, and jesus bandages. who is the brave sonofabitch to come up with the idea of marketing the poster child of catholicism in a package of bandaids? and what about jesus action figures? or "jesus is my homeboy" t-shirts? hell, i've even seen belt buckles with various inscriptions of the ten commandments on them. believe it or not, jesus christ is a pop icon.

a simple google search of jesus toys brings up countless results of jesus paraphernalia. these include jesus dashboard companions; bobble heads, action figures, air fresheners, and patches. in a twisted, sarcastic way, jesus is cool.

one really has to wonder what the church has to say about all this. i would have thought they'd be outraged that god's only begotten son has suffered from trademark infringement. on the contrary, however; most religious groups seem content with the latest jesus revival. in a post-post-modern western world of youth showing off their favourite logos, the face of his holiness plastered on t-shirts and ball hats is almost slightly refreshing. after all, the church needs all the help they can get in rebuilding their image these days. and what's more fitting than having their poster boy grace the cups of starbucks coffee?

cleaning out my closet

2006-09-01T11:29:00.000-04:00

no, this isn't going to be a crying rant ala eminem in which i bash my mother and ex-wife in a choppy rap over screaming tears. today, i literally cleaned out my closet. how about that? since moving back to cornwall for the summer, i found myself continually living out of my suitcase and laundry basket. i suppose i was somewhat in denial that i was even living here for an extended period of time, let alone the thought of establishing permanent destinations for my clothing seemed a waste of time.

and now, even though my return to ottawa is coming closer, i became frustrated with tripping over laundry baskets and belts lying haphazard on the floor. so i finally broke down and started organizing. for this i had to clean out my bedroom closet and rid myself of my old high school notebooks, ex-girlfriends' memorabilia, and toys that sadly i am too mature (and i use that term loosely) to play with anymore. the final tally includes: 2 garbage bags of unneeded clothes for the local agape center, 2 garbage bags of useless (but a-minus average) high school assignments and countless rubbish. and best of all, i won't be face planting into the door as i stumble towards my morning coffee.

e-retail

2006-08-19T12:20:00.000-04:00

it's been a great week for mail. finally received my broil king bbq that i won through the tim horton's rrrrrrrrrroll up the rrrrrrrrrrim sweepstakes. i also got a call from part source who have found the bug deflector i had ordered for skippy's honda accord for father's day. we're installing it today. and i received my clothing order from urban outfitters.

online clothing shopping is becoming my new bad habit / guilty pleasure. i've found recently that my wardrobe consists of the same safe selections that i've purchased at the gap and american eagle. after my shopping excursion in montreal (h&m, urban outfitters), i realized that there is much more to clothes shopping than what's available at bayshore shopping mall.

montreal, however, is still a couple hours away. so, i've found solace in the fact that both h&m and urban outfitters have extensive selections available at their online retail shops.

what's even more exciting is that urban outfitters has a great selection of shoes online. being a size 13, i have a difficult time finding the size i need in the particular shoe i like most. online shoe shopping saves me a lot of disappointment.

i've yet to master the ebay phenomenon however...

ring tunes

2006-08-14T18:46:00.000-04:00

as mentioned in a previous post, i share the same cell phone as david hasselhoff. it's almost inevitable that 2 men as wise as us would pick such a feature friendly phone as the motorola v551. one of the best features that i'm currently enjoying is the realtrax (rogers, tm) ringtune option that allows you to use true songs as ringers.

lately, i've gotten sick of the standard pearl jam - given to fly tune that plays for all of my incoming calls, so i've started to personalize the ringers for those that call me the most. here's a sample list...

matt - xzibit - multiply
dave - beastie boys - ch-check it out / brass monkey (undecided)
goron - 50 cent - window shopper
melissa - metric - poster of a girl
julie - britney spears - i'm a slave 4 u
tracy - twins - ba xing bao xi he xi
mano - ricky martin - livin' la vida loca
david hasselhoff - baywatch theme

at $3 a tune, it's getting a bit pricey to custom everyone's ringers. but it keeps me entertained when my phone rings. and i suppose $3 is a small price to pay for the subtle smile that crosses my face when my best friends give me a call.

turkey bacon

2006-08-08T18:44:00.000-04:00

my fellow friends, you must join me in my quest to expand our language just slightly. from now on, i ask that you now refer to all rent-a-cops as turkey bacon. for those who don’t know, turkey bacon is processed, smoked turkey meat cut into strips that resemble, but only barely function as, bacon.

montreal calling

2006-08-01T19:58:00.000-04:00

this past saturday i took a road trip to montreal with my friends goron, lindsay and melissa. montreal holds a special spot in my heart. home to my beloved canadiens, quante bistros, excellent shopping, and great memories of my high school buddies and i highjacking my parents minivan for our first encounter at club supersex. and then there was youpi. who could ever forget the expos lovable mascot?

i woke up earliest saturday morning to shower, and pick up some genuine trade-free organic coffee from bridgehead coffee house, and some fresh pastries from the brown loaf bakery, both on elgin st. soon after, we loaded up the car and made our way down the 417. i had to make a quick cameo in casselman to lend an assist to my co-worker, but all in all, we were on schedule.

at 10:30, we rolled into montreal. the most distinguishing and stereotypical characteristic that would clue you in to being in quebec is that suddenly the drivers around you get increasingly more aggressive. though we made friendly with a family driving a ford tempo, who continued to wave at us for at least a good 17 kms.

the biodome was our first stop. i had never visited the biodome before saturday, a revelation to which most of you might be thinking "what?", but i'm glad i was finally able to make it. crocodile exhibits were followed by tropical toocans, which preceeded the monkey jungle, which led to the lovable penguins. all were fun to see, but most impressive was the sleepy lynx tiger, paws up, snoaring. zzzzzzzzzz....

after the biodome tour, we headed downtown on the metro for some lunch. we stopped in at a unique montreal bistro. pint of stella was the perfect rinser for my smoked salmon salad.

lunch was followed by a blitzkrieg of shopping that i had never experienced before. we visited numerous malls, independent shops, and accessory stores, plus a hudson's bay store, and even made it across town to hit up h&m. with only 23 minutes til closing time, we managed to spend a combined $400! i came out of there with a new fall jacket that i'm totally psyched about.

after the flurry of shopping, we decided a pitstop for drinks was necessary. we found another uniquely montreal bistro, but this time ordered 2 great sample platters - prosciutto, smoked salmon, roast beef, and a variety of cheeses that would make king out of a mouse. one thing i will say is that the french know how to eat! and that day we were francais a le maximum, oui le!

rumour spoiler!

2006-07-26T12:47:00.000-04:00

This may ruin the previous article...

US Weekly is reporting that Jeff Lahey and Jessica Alba are back together for the third time this year. It was only a few months ago that the twosome decided to call it quits. At least that's what everyone thought when they publicly bashed each other and said it was really over for good.

This past week, Lahey was spotted with actress and pop princess Holly Pelky, sparking rumours he had permanently moved on. Meanwhile, Alba, who is completely incapable of being alone for even a day, quickly found herself in the arms of Ryan Seacrest. This must have set off Pelky, who has had a history with Seacrest.

This morning, however, Lahey and Alba were photographed in Brazil on a sudden getaway. Fueling more to this hot rumour is that Pelky was seen partying with Ryan Seacest last night!

gossip alert!

2006-07-26T12:40:00.000-04:00

Holly Pelky and Jeff Lahey have been getting cozy: The pair was spotted kissing in South Keys this weekend, PEOPLE reports. This, after a lengthy conversation about Holly's trip to Las Vegas to visit Ryan Seacrest. The rumour surfaced at Melissa Lee's BBQ! Gossip columnists across North America are in panic about this one, but only we have the details here!

More from Hollywood
Lance Bass Comes Out!
James Simpson Writes Poetry!

On Saturday, Pelky, 29, and Lahey, 25, the soon-to-be ex-husband of Jessica Alba, arrived at the BBQ in the Craig Henry Village neighborhood outside Ottawa at about 5 p.m. in separate cars. In the parking lot, the two kissed then walked hand-in-hand, smiling and chatting the entire way as they headed for the backyard.

There, they shared a table on the patio where they gazed into each other's eyes and held hands. Eventually, Pelky planted a kiss on Lahey's hand – and he returned the gesture, kissing hers. They then kissed again on the lips.

They left the BBQ at 8:45 p.m. in the same car together! Lahey has a home in Westlake Village.

On Friday, Pelky filed a 17-page court document claiming that her estranged husband, Brad Pitt, had threatened to kill her. The actress also claims that during their marriage, Pitt abused prescription medication, had violent mood swings, was a compulsive gambler and visited pornography Web sites featuring "very young girls." Pitt has called Pelky's claims "vile" and "baseless."

Pelky originally filed for divorce in March of last year, when she was six months pregnant with the couple's son Jamal. The pair appeared to briefly reconcile after Jamal's birth in June, but on Jan. 4, they requested that their divorce proceed with a private arbitrator.

In February, Lahey – who's the lead singer for the Backstreet Boys – split from Alba, his wife of 3 years. The couple has an 1-year-old daughter, Ava.

Pelky and Alba are pals who grew even closer during Pelky's split from Pitt. Alba, who starred with Pitt in the remake for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, attended Pelky's baby shower before she gave birth to her son Jamal – and helped take care of the baby after he was born.

how cool is that?

2006-07-22T12:24:00.000-04:00

"sorry to cut this interview short, bubba, but i think lahey's ringing me!"

i know i'm cool. my mom says i'm cool. my cat merton hanks rubs up to my leg due primarily to me being cool. i melt of such cool machismo. my friends admit to my coolness too. but the one definite reason that confirms how cool i really am is that i share the same cell phone as david hasselhoff. that, my friends, is cool.

what would uncle jesse do?

2006-07-18T16:36:00.000-04:00

came across a great link to a site dedicated to the legend of uncle jesse. check it out here.

get ready to rock steady

2006-07-17T17:30:00.000-04:00

this past sunday the rock steady crew (my co-ed soccer team) extended our impressive unbeaten streak to 4, with a 5-4 win over the individuals. we now sit at the top of the division with a 2-0 record for the second half of the summer league.

seems i've found the golden boot lately, as i've totalled 8 goals in our last 4 games. my season got off to an unimpressive start, but i've been coming around lately.

in fact, the team has really come together as of late. though the core of the rock steady crew (goron, dave, mel, and myself) still remain from it's original incepetion, we've gone through quite the roster overhaul in the last 3 years. this season, we fielded probably the most inexperienced group we've ever assembled. and although we got off to a rocky start, the crew has kept their heads up high and perceviered through the lows. now we're riding the high train!

btw, the logo above was done up by my talented sis. quite the photoshop superstar!

we all scream for ice cream

2006-07-16T03:39:00.000-04:00

there's something to be said about catching up with a loyal friend over an ice cream cone in ottawa's byward market at 2am... ice cream is good. friends are good too.

metric @ bluesfest

2006-07-16T03:11:00.000-04:00

on friday night, i attended the metric concert at bluesfest here in ottawa with my friends goron, lindsay and melissa. i'm somewhat of a newfound metric fan, but this show opened my eyes to the incredible musical talent this foursome posses.

we arrived a song into the set, but were blown away by the electric show. frontwoman emily haines jerked non-stop with her funky dancemoves as she pounded on the keyboards. the rest of the band seemed content to bask in the background as the show focused primarily on the lead singer, but it took nothing away from the production.

crowd favourites 'poster of a girl' was quickly followed by 'monster hosptial' (their 2 recent singles), but the band tapped in to their older catologue as well, opening with old world underground's first song, 'i.o.u.'. haines held the audience in sway with her deceptively sweet voice, entertaining, unpredictable moves and undeniable star quality.

the show seemed to progress quickly, due partly to their no-nonsense approach and also my personal enjoyment of the concert. after a quick break, metric finished with an encore of 'soft rock star' and an extended live version of 'dead disco'.

metric's music is somewhat unpredictable in the sense that it starts slow then bursts out with a thunderous keyboard-dominated synthesizing blast. haines' sweetly sensitive vocals quickly turn to loud screaches of frustration and angst. it makes for one amazing mod rock show! i highly recommend you check them out sometime.

ilovemetric.com

happy birthday neon rider

2006-07-13T18:53:00.000-04:00

just wanted to send a late birthday shout-out to my homie, winston rekert, the one and only neon rider. he turned 57 on july 10th.

luckily, we can still wach winston in his glory as the neon rider on tvtropolis mondays through fridays @ 6pm!

edmonton pics

2006-07-08T17:26:00.000-04:00

matt was finally able to get his roll of film scanned to disk of the edmonton trip...

marching bands of manhattan

2006-07-04T18:06:00.001-04:00

If I Could Open My Arms
And Span The Length Of The Isle Of Manhattan
I'd Bring It To Where You Are
Making A Lake Of The East River And Hudson
If I Could Open My Mouth
Wide Enough For A Marching Band To March Out
They Would Make Your Name Sing
And Bend Through Alley's And Bounce Off all the Buildings

I Wish We Could Open Our Eyes
To See In All Directions At The Same Time
Oh, What A Beautiful View
If You Were Never Aware Of What Was Around You
And It Is True What You Say
That I Live Like A Hermit In My Own Head
When The Sun Shines Again
I'll Pull The Curtains And Blinds To Let The Light In

Sorrow Drips Into Your Heart
Through A Pinhole
Just Like A Faucet That Leaks
And There Is Comfort In The Sound
But While You Debate
Half Empty Or Half Full
It Slowly Realizes Your Love Is Gonna Drown

Your Love Is Gonna Drown
Your Love Is Gonna

Death Cab for Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan
From the Album Plans

world cup

2006-07-03T18:54:00.000-04:00

i've been watching quite a bit of the soccer world cup lately. i probably wouldn't call myself the most avid soccer fan among my friends, but watching an international "futeball" tournament that only comes around every 4 years is something special. better than the olympics. better than the over-hyped commerical propaganda that is the super bowl. better than se... ok well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

since my beloved netherlands took an early exit in the round of 16, i forecasted a world cup victory by germany. let's see if this holds up.

but watch out for oranje in euro 2008!

online tech support

2006-06-16T20:39:00.000-04:00

bell now has online tech support. not much different from on-the-phone tech support really. just "pass the problem to the next fool" seems be the theme with these people...

Tech Support
Greetings Jeff Lahey,

Thank you for choosing Bell, my name is Julie, how may I help you today?

Jeff
hello.. i seem to have an internet connection. msn messenger works, but webpages load very slowly using both firefox and internet explorer

Tech Support
I can help you with that.

Jeff
so.. what do you need to know?

Tech Support
I can only asssist you with Internet Explorer, and not Firefox as this is not supported

Jeff
sure thing

Tech Support
first, please unplug the power cable from your DSL modem, wait 30 seconds, and plug it back in...tell me when you have done this first step

Jeff
funny, i just finished doing this about 5 minutes ago

Jeff
did you need me to do this again?

Tech Support
did you just do it again?

Jeff
so you do want me to do this again

Tech Support
yes please

Jeff
k
back
i unplugged the modem, and plugged it back in.

Tech Support
To optimize your Internet Explorer settings, complete the followi

ng steps:

1. Open Internet Explorer, click on Tools

2. Click on Internet Options

3. Click on the Delete Cookies button, then click OK

4. Click on the Delete Files button, select the Delete all offline content check box, then click OK

5. Click Clear History, then click OK

6. Click the Settings button and adjust the Amount of disk space to use to 10 MB, then click OK

7. Select the Security tab and click the Internet icon

8. Click the Default Level button if available and then click Apply

9. Select the Privacy tab, click the Default button if available, and then click Apply

10. Click the Edit button (if available, if not, please go to step 11). If sites appear under Managed Web sites in the Per Site Privacy Actions window, click Remove All, then click OK

11. Select the Connections tab and click LAN Settings

12. Clear all of the checkboxes and click OK

Jeff
done and done

Tech Support
ok..now are you able to open Internet Explorer faster then before? please try it out

Jeff
well, somewhat i suppose.. but it times out after a few seconds.. pages such as gmail, tsn.ca start to load, but then nothing
it basically times out.. leaving a blank page.. no error message

Tech Support
one moment please
how many PC's do you have?

Jeff
1, no network

Tech Support
I suggest following these steps:

1. Check the physical setup of the modem. There should not be any splitters, filters or extensions between the modem and the phone jack. The cable should not be longer than 2

meters (7 feet). Ensure the modem is plugged in and turned on (ensure power bar is plugged in and turned on).

2. Make sure the modem is at least 30 CM (1 foot) away from any electrical device including the computer.

3. Verify that filters are installed on every phone except the one plugged into the modem.

4. Ensure the filters on the other communication devices are connected properly. (use the images on the filter as a guide)

Jeff
been through that already
check, check, check, check

Tech Support
how long is the cable from your modem to the phone jack?

Jeff
about 60 cm, the one that came w/ the modem

Tech Support
one moment please

Jeff
yuppers

Tech Support
I would like to confirm that your message has been forwarded to our Network Department for review and resolution.
your trouble has been referred to one of our Bell Canada technicians. Someone will contact you to resolve your trouble within 84 hours.

Jeff
84 hours?

Tech Support
Is there anything else I can do for you?

Jeff
or am i dyslexic?
doesn't 84 hours seems like an odd time frame?

Tech Support
yes...it can take up to 3 business days to perform test on your line and see what your issue is...this is the given time frame from our Test Center

Jeff
alrighty then... thanks for your help, julie

Tech Support
Is there anything else I can do for you?

Jeff
no, i suppose not
are you gonna give me the standard "thanks for choosing bell line" now? lol

Tech Support
Please share with us your feedback and comments here:

https://activations.sympatico.ca/chatsurvey/netassistant.html

Thank you for choosing Bell and have yourself a great day.

Don't forget to visit the Customer Self Care web site by following this link: http://service.sympatico.ca

Jeff
haha

team magnus in edmonton

2006-06-16T19:47:00.000-04:00

it's taken me a few days to absorb the experience i had in edmonton and turn it into words, but here goes...

day 2 saw 3 of 4 of the former "team magnus" members wake up to a beautiful alberta morning. the birds were chirping, the sun was glaring, and the homeless were searching for traces of food in the nearby dumpsters. matt's balcony faces the back of a strip mall, where the garbage bins are a flea market for the unfortunate people that live on the streets.

after breakfast, dave met up with a buddy from the u of a, and matt and i headed to the west edmonton mall where d would meet up with us later. simply put: this mall is fuckin' huge! it spans 48 city blocks, features over 800 stores and 100 restaurants (including 4 mcdonalds), and even has its own amusement park, water park, ice rink, shooting range, and pirate ship. yes, a pirate ship. its purpose is unknown, but it's quite the site to see a 400 foot pirate ship in the middle of a mall.

and this whole "no pst" thing is quite something for out-of-province shoppers like myself. i was able to buy a pair of jeans, 3 shirts (cuban soul revival baby!), and a belt for $100. bargain shopping at its finest.

after the mall, we hit up a safeway grocery store for some fine alberta steaks. now, i consider myself quite the bbq chef, but even my skill couldn't quite compare an everyday ontario piece of meat to the succulent steak we experienced that night. it melted in your mouth. like chocolate... mmm... alberta beef.saturday was game day. we got to rexall centre around 4:00 and shared in the parties that surrounded the arena. the media circus outside the arena caused quite the panic with the locals. i got my picture taken with cabbie (from the score's cabbie on the street program), and screamed out "carleton u for life" to cu's most famous grad (in my opinion), james duthie, of tsn.

after a couple beers, we headed to our seats. probably the most expensive nosebleed seats i've ever been in, but this is the stanley cup finals after all. i stood in awe as the crowd drowned out the anthem singer for not only o canada, but also the star spangled banner. what a show of respect. never had i been part of such a karaoke experience as this. good show, edmonton!

the game started and not a voice was spared throughout. "go oilers go" was followed by "we want the cup" and "caro-lina sucks". between pans of mark messier and billy ranford the crowd just never let up.

hell, at one point team magnus was treated to a very sexy cat fight. meow! let's just say a beer was thrown, my pants got wet, and one girl was put in handcuffs. very hot!

and oh yeah, the oilers won! almost a forgotten point with all the drama that surrounded this game.

after the game we hit up "the blue mile", or as some refer to it as "the copper mile". either way, it resembled mardi gras with all the flashes of skin we saw that evening. i wish we had pictures of this, but you can find some at bluemile.ca.

all in all, quite the visit. it's a shame it only lasted a weekend. me and d will be sure to visit mattie again sometime in the near future.

edmonton day 2 pics

2006-06-10T16:25:00.000-04:00

edmonton day 1

2006-06-09T16:01:00.000-04:00

well, we're here! dave and i flew in last night (connected in calgary), and mattie-boy picked us up around midnight local time... didn't take us long to pop a couple beers and catch up on current events.

matt's hottub / pool table wholesaling business must be doing well.. he's be on the phone constantly this morning, already selling 2 tubs today before noon.

we're off to check out the west edmonton mall now... biggest mall in north america! which means the highest population of teenie boppers in one area... i'm sure lindsay lohan cd sales are doing well here.

oilers and roloson go down, but maggie says there's still hope

2006-06-06T04:56:00.000-04:00

"The Edmonton Oilers' bid to become the first Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup in 13 years is a longshot proposition now that goaltender Dwayne Roloson has been lost for the balance of the NHL's championship series.

Roloson suffered a knee injury with less than four minutes to play on Monday before backup goalie Ty Conklin entered a tie game and allowed the winning goal." - tsn. ca

yet we keep the faith as our beloved primate, maggie the monkey, has picked the oilers to take the stanley cup final anyway. since 2003, maggie has become a staple for the tsn post-season shows. she achieved international attention in '03 when she picked the anaheim mighty ducks to reach the cup finals. in '04 she picked both calgary and tampa bay to make the finals. all this by a simple spin of the tsn wheel of fortune.

so oilers fan.. er aghem.. canadian hockey fans... maggie reminds us to stay positive. chew on a banana, because this series is far from over!

to the blue mile!

2006-06-05T20:52:00.001-04:00

and we're off to the stanley cup finals! on saturday townsend and i booked our flights to edmonton, leaving heartbroken senator-land this thursday, june 8th, on our way to catching game 3 of the stanley cup finals from the nosebleed section.

harrison just texted me... he's secured us some tickets for the game. $450 each... looks like we're having a hot tub sale!

more to follow...

it runs in the family

2006-06-03T11:08:00.000-04:00

let me tell you just how proud i am of my little sis...

i feel i rarely get to tell her this, due in most part to my mother screaming in the background of my phone conversations with her.

two years ago julie finished her advertising program at the 'gonque. let me say that as a university student who passed on an opportunity to attend a college program, i have found a new respect for those pursuing a diploma, rather than a university degree. she worked her ass off. and while i was rhyming out 10 pages essays every now and then, she was constantly in the trenches, handing in assignment after assignment. it just seemed like she never rested.

many-a nights she called seeking advice, or an excuse to get away from her mac. i felt heartbroken listening to the tears as she paniced over which assignment she should be working on. and when all the other kids were enjoying their spring break, julie was busting her ass over an extra-credit assignment, or seeking a job placement for the summer. always on the go.

after graduation, she finally found a job placement in toronto, working in the advertising / marketing department of the prestigious movado group. the movado group or company produces some of the highest selling brands of watches in north america - movado, esq, tommy hilfiger, la coste, and hugo boss.

after 6 months of placement, movado signed her to a long-term contract with a raise. she even received a new job title: marketing assistant! and just last month she alone created the fall 2006 esq catalogue. this catalogue will be used by all retailers and distributors at the consumer level! oh yeah.. all over canada!

with her raise, she was finally able to secure a permanent residence. she shares a nice apartment in the t-dot. and she has her very first car. it visits the garage every second week, but her own car!

so anyway, i'm proud of her. and i love her too. go get 'em kiddo!

those are the breaks

2006-06-02T19:17:00.000-04:00

in february i broke up with my girlfriend. ok well, i didn't instigate the break, but neither did she.. rather, we decided to break up.. yes, a mutual decision. it's definitely a lot more complicated that that, but yes a mutual break. for once, a very-adult like end to a relationship. after a year and a half of what i believed was a very promising relationship, things just started to unravel.

i find it difficult to explain exactly what happened. we simply fell out of love. isn't that the most ridiculous claim you've ever heard? how the hell do you fall "out" of love? i'm not really sure, but i am confident that this is what happened to us.

the beginning of most relationships is fairly exciting for most of us. after the thrilling courting period turns to exclusivity, most of us are in such a state of honeymoon syndrome we can't help but spend as much time with your other as possible. there's that smirky smile that appears on your face when that other person steps into the room, the awkward feeling in your stomach when your lips meet, and the excitement that overcomes you when you realize that person secretly shares some of the same thoughts and passions that you have. i don't know if this is love, but it feels so fuckin' great.

i thought our relationship had this, and so much more. never before had i planned my future around someone else's dreams. never had i the desire to share every single moment for the rest of my life with just this one other person. for someone as social and outgoing as myself, it was such a contrast that i wanted nothing more than to spend a evening dancing to frank sinatra in the candle-lit living room of our apartment... just with her. watching the dog run around the park, sharing an ice cream cone, and laughing! oh wow, did i ever enjoy laughing with her. and over stupid things too. an argument would turn to laughter, a french music video would turn to laughter, the dog and cat fighting would result in laughter. when you can share a smile with someone, that might just be the most intimate event you could ever experience. your soul shines through and meets theirs. all over an episode of family guy. (i know it's fuckin' corny, so i had to throw in the family guy reference)

but for some reason, the laughter turned to silence. i have no explanation why. i wish i did. but i don't. we both just knew that the future for us didn't involve us being together. or at least not in this capacity. so after a tormenting two months of suffering with the fear that we were not meant to be, we finally admitted to the end.

we spoke this afternoon. close to four months after that fateful day where it all went right. she's dating someone else now, and it makes me so happy for her. she deserves happiness. i deserve happiness. we both deserve happiness, but i guess not with each other.

shiggity shiggity shwa

2006-06-02T16:58:00.000-04:00

they look so god damn like the same person. i would say "want ice cream cone?", they both say "yes!"

lost and found

2006-06-02T16:46:00.000-04:00

well... well... well... it's been quite some time since i last updated this blog and well, the hate mail is pouring in! so here i am back again, and i suppose i should explain the reasons for not updating in nearly 6 months.

i haven't been online in nearly 2 months, due to moving out of my house in ottawa, and back into my parent's place. recently, i re-surfaced so the blogging will continue soon enough.

for the months prior to the last 2, well, let's just say i was pre-occupied with more stressing matters (more to follow)... and that's that.

christmas procastination

2005-12-21T09:54:00.000-05:00

and off i go to the mall. christmas shopping begins today and the guilt of waiting to the last minute yet again is eating me up inside. at least i've purchased juls' gifts already, so it only leaves me with my sister julie, mom and skip. that doesn't seem like much, does it? i guess we'll see when screaming toddlers and grumpy old men are breathing hot air down my neck as i flip through the lindsay lohan cd catalogue.

radio killed the MuchMusic star

2005-12-20T16:21:00.000-05:00

finally. alt rock radio returns to ottawa. it's about time.

the other day, frustrated, i seeked through the endless deadwood that is ottawa radio only to discover something fresh. the tuner stopped short at 88.5 fm. what's this? someone's playing death cab for cutie? hmm, interesting. next song. oh wow, alexisonfire, and pearl jam's corduroy, and arcade fire? did i stumble upon some euphoric musical dimension? well, sorta. it's ottawa's newest radio station - live 88.5!

since the demise of ottawa's last alt. rock station, xFm (as shitty as it was), ottawa radio has spiralled into a heavy rotation of nickelback, the hip, and hillary duff. ok, so hillary's hot but it doesn't excuse her poor attempts at song-writing.. or acting for that matter.. but not's neither here or there. and as much as i love the hip, it's becoming increasingly clear that their tunes have become obligatory canadian filler to the constant repitition of the last 5 green day singles. let's be honest, we're very sick of green day by now. think hoobastank's the reason times 3.

just tuned in again. tool. you gotta be fuckin kidding me? tool hasn't been heard on ottawa radio since x, but more importantly hasn't been followed up by something as fresh as franz ferdinand, or my chemical romance, and then succeeded by hawksley workman's jealous of your cigarette. oh boi!

check it out yourself at 88.5 fm or live885.com for the streamline.

vote liberal

2005-12-07T10:36:00.000-05:00

a young man named paul bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. the farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. when the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "sorry son, but I have some bad news...the donkey is on my truck, but he's dead."

paul replied, "well then, just give me my money back."

the farmer said, "I can't do that. I went and spent it already."

paul said, "ok then, just unload the donkey anyway".

the farmer asked, "what are ya gonna do with him?"

paul said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

to which the farmer exclaimed, "you can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

but paul, with a big smile on his face, said, "sure I can. watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."

a month later the farmer met up with Paul and asked, "what happened with that dead donkey?"

paul said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $698.00."

totally amazed, the farmer asked, "didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"

and paul replied, "the only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. so I gave him his $2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so he thought I was a great guy."

paul grew up and eventually became the prime minister of canada, and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he stole from canadian voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them thought he was a great guy.

that'll do pig

2005-12-02T20:07:00.000-05:00

some sex-starved cat i have. here is my good buddy merton hanks, just raping the hell out of a little stuffed pig we leave on the guestroom futon bed.

herein lies the proof behind my argument that merton should be free to wander outdoors, mostly in due part to find some tail.

first and foremost

2005-12-02T19:18:00.000-05:00

some rules to follow: no capital letters, no holding back, and blog often. there, some house rules to keep myself in check. i really had no other way to start this blog journal, so i figured i would develop the framework for which my posts will be scripted through.

until today, the possibility of me actually writing something on one of these blog sites seemed laughable, if even plausible. so hell, why not surprise even myself by registering for this site. i figure it'll give me some retail space to channel my thoughts onto, something i've secretly been missing since i published those mass emails about my callow social happenings in university.

so here it is. and here i am. enjoy.